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Daisukie-Chan

She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Trolled
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Where we used to be,
Before we fell apart,
You promised things to me,
And broke my shattered heart.

I listened to your words,
And melted with your touch,
You mended all my hurts,
And gave me oh so much.

I never knew I'd
Be such a fool,
And if i could only,
Change...

Pulled apart, torn to shreds,
Thoughts still run, through my head,
And I know, what's to come,
When the door bangs open,

And my heart, beating still,
I've used up, all my will,
Just to stay, where I am,
'Til the fire's over.

It's all so clear right now,
Who I used to know,
But still I stay somehow,
Yes, I just can't let go.

You told the barest lies,
And hid them in the truth,
And as hard as I should try,
I still believe in you.

I never knew you'd,
take all my trust and,
Try to force me just to
Change...

Pulled apart, torn to shreds,
Thoughts still run, through your head,
And you know, what's to come,
When world is open,

And your heart, beating still,
You've used up, all your will,
Just to stay, where you are,
'Til the fire's over.

And it's so hard, so to speak,
Just to stay, you and me,
I don't know, how we got,
Here and now we're shattered...

Heated stares, painful looks,
You could see, how I shook,
As the cold, from your heart,
Freezes mine all over...

Where we used to be,
Before we fell apart,
You promised things to me,
And broke my shattered heart.

Pulled apart, torn to shreds,
Thoughts still run, through my head,
And I know, what's to come,
When world is open,

And my heart, beating still,
I've used up, all my will,
Just to stay, where I am,
'Til the fire's over.
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Something

1 min read
There's something about walking down an empty street in semi darkness with a long black jacket billowing behind you. Something that makes you feel like no matter what happens during the blinding day, darkness will always be there to welcome you back into its shadowy arms.

Here is where I belong. Under the rain and the beams of the moon. Where the only sound comes from the steady drops on the pavement and the random car that passes by every so often.

This, is home...
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It really wasn't until I invited two friends to come to P-Mall with me that I realized... They weren't really my friends. They were each others' friends, but not mine... It's never good when ANYONE comes to a conclusion such as this. I'm sure that each of my friends would rather be in each others' company than my own.
I was just an accessory. No one really needs me but will talk to me and 'befriend' me out of pity of the stupid loner.
I see it now, It's so clear.
I was never the talker.
I was always the listener.
Even at summer camp, when the girls had problems with other girls or whatever, They'd talk to ME and then they'd skip off and never speak to me again.
I guess I'm just stationary to them.
That old teddy bear that they tell their secrets to but later gets discarded for a newer one.
When I look around at the people in my environment, Each person has that ONE friend or TWO friends who they would do anything for.
I've never known that type of platonic friendship.
Still, I probably will have to come to terms to the fact that I will only ever be just a name.
Nothing more.
A living 'nothing'.

Heh... Who would want to be friends with a monster?
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2:23 AM

1 min read
Well... I'm becoming nocturnal....
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Regrets

2 min read
(A friend of mine once told me that of all the things he thought about, the things he thinks about most were his regrets. These are his words as well as mine. Don't read if you don't like non-rhyming poetry)

A million regrets
In my head
Playing
Around my brain
Flitting in and out of my thoughts
Regret
Regret
Regret
Should have gone to the other high school
Should have taken music courses
Should have studied harder
A million regrets
In my head
Sabotaging
Every move I make
Destroying my "Future"
Regret
Regret
Regret
Should have sold my art when I had the chance
Should have spent more time painting
Should have had a more healthy diet
A million regrets
In my head
Crying
Every night in bed
Too exhausted in the morning to get up
Regrets
Regrets
Regrets
Should have learned to play piano properly
Should have practiced violin more
Should have played more instruments

But the thing I regret most...
Is existence in itself.
Why me?
Any other kid wouldn't be writing this.
Any other kid would be happy.
Thankful.
Worth it.
My parents deserve any other kid.
Not me.
No one should have the misfortune to be stuck with me.
No one.
No one.
No one.
I don't understand why those people tell me I'm worth it.
People like me were never meant to exist.
Useless.
Stupid.
Mean.
Selfish.
Sarcastic.
Unthoughtful.
Talentless.
A cancerous portion of society.
...
Meaningless...?
No.
I can't say these things.
My parents deserve more than that.
And so, for now...
I will bear it.
Push to the limits.
Until I'm broken.
Until I'm broken.
Until I'm broken.
Until..................................
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Featured

'Til the Fire's Over (Song Lyrics for Class) by Daisukie-Chan, journal

Something by Daisukie-Chan, journal

Painful Realization by Daisukie-Chan, journal

2:23 AM by Daisukie-Chan, journal

Regrets by Daisukie-Chan, journal